"Brandon Sanderson" is the pen name of Alcatraz Smedry. His Hushlander editor forced him to use a pseudonym since these memoirs are being published as fiction.
Alcatraz actually knows a person named Brandon Sanderson. That man, however, is a fantasy writer and is therefore prone to useless bouts of delusion in literary form. Alcatraz has it on good authority that Brandon Sanderson is actually illiterate and dictates his thick, overly long fantasy tomes to his potted plant, Count Duku.
It is widely assumed that Brandon went made several years ago, but few people can tell because his writing is so strange anyway. He spends his time going to science fiction movies, eating popcorn and goat cheese (separately), and trying to warn people about the dangers of the Great Kitten Conspiracy.
He's had his library card revoked on seventeen different occasions.
As we read we learned about the main character's first name is Alcatraz and he presumes he was named after the prison. I reminded them that we’d seen the island of Alcatraz when we visited San Francisco last September.
6YO: “I was freezing!”
When we learned that Alcatraz had been given a bag of sand there was some puzzlement.
8YO: “What’s so special about a bag of sand?”
4YO: “You don’t put sand in bags.”
6YO: “Yes you do!”
She ran and got a bottle of white sand I brought back from Destin, Florida to show her younger brother.
Later Alcatraz revealed that he has a talent for breaking things and he lists off that he has broken plates, cameras, and chickens.
6YO: “Cracking chickens? How can people crack chickens?”
8YO: 
“Broke chickens!”
6YO: “How can people break chickens?”
Once Alcatraz accidentally set the kitchen on fire the eight year old wanted him to deal with it immediately! 8YO: “TURN ON THE SINK! TURN ON THE SINK!”
Tonight the eight year old drew several pictures and here is one of them.
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